you assholes in cars (not everyone in cars though)

What is your fucking deal really? You honk at cyclists when they are in the street commuting to work just like you. What is your reaction when somebody tailgates up on your ass quickly and then honks? Do you politely move to the side of the road and wave them on or do you get pissed and slam on your brakes and flash that dirty little middle finger that gives you so much power and satisfaction? I mean I can understand why you are in such a terrible mood, how much is gas now five bucks a gallon?

Well anyways, check it out: I ride a bike and I have had a few cars in my day and I happen to know just a smidge on the subject of etiquette and plenty enough on traffic laws, traffic safety, and good sportsmanship. Everyone out there that upholds these qualities has my respect and you can rest assured knowing that you are a good person who deserves good things.

Everyone else is an asshole, so fuck you.

This is to you you asshole car and truck drivers, perhaps jealous of the fact that my fuel costs and gym costs add up to the price of a meal, here’s to you unorganized douchebag in such a fucking hurry that you can’t just silently pass me, an innocent bike riding individual: courteous, law abiding, participant in street traffic, without letting loose on the old honker, here’s to you fucking idiot who can’t turn on your blinker to suggest to somebody on your flank that you will be making a sudden right hand turn without checking your mirror, turning into me while I’m just trying to get my vegetables home from the market and then honks at me after you almost committed a felony count of murder, here’s to all you complete fucking morons that can’t see past your pitiful consumeristic slovenly wasteful lazy impotent existence to perhaps notice that we cyclists already have the disadvantage. We can be crushed under your thousands of pounds of metal, glass, plastic, and rubber in a second. Maybe you would notice that you move up to 5 times the speed of a cyclist already and that I have no pity for your inability to factor into your own schedule how long its going to take you to get somewhere. And just in general, everyone, even people driving automobiles enjoys a flippin’ turn signal every now and again, just to check in with you to see what you’re up to you know? Its nice, and warns me that if I keep a straight trajectory YOU might be charged with vehicular homicide, which I think we all would like to avoid. I already think about dying enough, as my friend says “(cycling) is like an existential problem that happens everyday.” And it is made super difficult by brainless or lazy fucks that can’t or won’t spare a second of their time to consider what it might be like if they tried to push their own fat asses somewhere with their own two feet sometime.

sorry for the rant but i have had enough asshole for today.

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2 Responses to “you assholes in cars (not everyone in cars though)”

  1. centraleagle09 September 10, 2008 at 10:35 am #

    haha this is funny!

  2. mamylipmera November 26, 2009 at 8:08 pm #

    Unadulterated words, some authentic words man. You rocked my day!

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